What Happens When There's No School

Today is Monday, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and my children are home from school. Normally this is a nightmare situation for us because Jack thrives on his routine. Unlike other 14 year old boys who would rather sleep in on the weekends, Jack cries for school at 6:30am on Saturdays. I have tried repeatedly to take the three boys out to lunch or the mall to pass the time, but the task is enormous. Nowadays, for safety reasons, we try to have "movie-themed days" here at home. For the sake of all three children, I have organized craft time, bake time, and play time, and find myself exhausted at the end of the day trying to keep Jack interested in even some of it. I hate to say it, but there have been times during extended breaks I have snapped at my unsuspecting children, out of sheer desperation.

I do not feel comfortable sending my mostly non-conversant child to a respite program, and I wish I could say differently, but I would not be able to live with this decision, if I sent him. I do know that some of our local friends have had success with respite programs, and need them perhaps more than I do due to work schedules, and I do not blame them one bit for enrolling their children. What works for one may not work for another, and Jack is not functioning enough to interact with some of these higher-functioning students. Working one-on-one with him is key.

Let me just state up front I miss my three children terribly when they are in school. They are growing up too quickly and I oftentimes selfishly wish I could just snuggle with them for eternity. But these days off are LONG and hard, and trying to fill Jack's 12+ hour time slots with positive activities has become too difficult.  And what about the two other boys that need love and attention? It dawned on me that I cannot continue on this way and give each precious one the piece of me they deserve. Jack has a one-to-one aide in school because he needs attention and supervision 24/7. Life, however, with multiple children, is not like this. It is not realistic. I am exhausted from trying to do the impossible.

And so I threw up my hands a few months ago and admitted that even Super Woman gets to have a cup of tea and wardrobe change every now and then.  In an attempt to make these days more enjoyable for all of us, I hired a few special ed teachers to help me on days we have no school. Money is tight, but this is a gift to myself and I balance my guilt by reminding myself I haven't gotten my hair cut or styled in 5 months. I can live without highlights or spa visits, manicures and whatnot, but going on in this way was simply not going to work anymore. I'd rather look the way I do than not have the help I so desperately need.

And today I am more than grateful for my decision. God intervened AGAIN and found for us a great young special educator...and she is sweet and gorgeous...Jack actually asked to see her over the the weekend and I had to explain to him that she wasn't coming until today. They are in the dining room doing school work and I am making lunch for all three boys. Later another educator will help me take all three boys out on some errands. And I am grateful...grateful for the insight that I cannot do it ALL...and more grateful for the wisdom to understand that is OKAY.

May You Always Recognize The Blessings...