It's 6:10pm and Jack should be home soon...he's been out in the community, with a mentor, and I have been missing him. Phase Three of the day is about to begin, with the kids needing dinner and baths and homework have to be completed. I have to catch up on laundry too, and the beds need to be stripped and reset for the night. I was out all day, working on stuff at school, where my two youngest children attend, and I am behind on just about everything. Most days I run around between two different school districts and schedules, one being a half hour away from the other existing on two opposite sides of this county. I balance playdates and after school classes, therapies and meetings, school activities and functions, phone calls and errands. Some days I squeeze in lunch or a workout. It's nuts, but I am very grateful that all three of my children are getting exactly what they need.
I think God gives moms (in general) a special punch of powerful energy when the day nears its end, and you have to keep going like the Energizer Bunny. This is true whether you are a working mom, a stay at home mom, a special needs mom, or a little bit of everything, like myself. People ask me often, "How do you manage all that you do?" And I answer, "Because I'm a mom." Not a saint, not a super-being, but a blessed person my boys love and I love back with all my heart. This is the juice, the life-source we moms have flowing through us for our children's sake-it's what keeps our blood pumping and provides the courage we need to continue onward. The unconditional love we have for them is something we can never fully explain in words, and so, we just do what is the most natural thing for us. We LOVE. Look out, heaven forbid, if someone or something threatens our precious offspring-you are going to awaken a sleeping dragon. Don't say I didn't warn you-I call this Mama Bear Gone Mad. And you probably asked for it.
I am the mother of three very different children. One is a mystery, one is thoughtful and compassionate, and the other a bundle of energy, and I love them all. Like any other mom, I would do anything for them. When those folks ask me how I do what I do, I know they are referring to Jack's condition and the sacrifices that are neccessary to make the day successful for him. Countless years have been devoted to doctors, therapists, specialists, teachers, meetings and reviews, tears of joy and sorrow there are no words left to describe.
How do I DO it? He's my child, my kid, and my heart. People who care for me try to be kind by saying, "God gave him to you because he thinks you can handle it." Perhaps this is part of the equation, but there's got to be something more. I do think that God, in His great mercy, gives Moms of special needs children some of that extra juice to keep the body moving and the mind functioning. It's not about additional love or knowledge, but a strength that grows from somewhere you didn't know existed. A place where God says, "I know your difficulty, I've got your back so you can do what you need to do. Don't give up." Many times I am certain I heard this when I felt at my weakest moments. My house isn't perfect and neither am I, but the spark is better than five cups of coffee in the morning. This is how a little lady can turn into a bear.
May You Always Recognize The Blessings.
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