IEP Survival Advice

Okay, it’s that time of year again.  Time to don your heavy armor and take out all your ammo and walk into one of the most important meetings you will attend as a special-needs parent...the dreaded yearly IEP.  For those of you just coming onto the scene, this is short for Individual Education Plan and we well-versed parents know the outcome of this meeting will have a large influence on whether the next year of our child’s life will be productive, happy and safe.  And it's enough to make our heads spin and stomachs hurt for a week or more leading up to the big day. The task seems undaunting, but with a little bit of preparation, you will secure what your child needs. I have talked to many parents and professionals over the years and have taken their advice seriously.

Here is a Top Ten List of what has worked for me and other caregivers I know:

10) Calm down! It is tough, but try not to be nervous. Remember, the calmer you are, the better you can think, listen and interact. Don't go in expecting to have to fight. Go in with the attitude everyone wants the best for your child. At the same time, you must be prepared to interject and argue. Be ready to provide rational arguments for what your child needs.

9) Always get a draft copy of the IEP before the meeting. This will allow you and your support team time to process all the information and draft notes. Go in armed with all information you need to get your child the services they require. Listen to your gut. Stand firm, take a deep breath, listen, and do not accept anything you feel is not right or beneficial.

8) Request draft copies of goals, accommodations, and present levels of academic/functional performance ahead of time so you are prepared before the meeting.

7)  Stick to your guns and don't let them persuade you easily. Ask questions and make sure you understand the answers.  Know what you want, but always be open to hear what the committee has to say and offer.

6) Bring an educational advocate with you.

5) Bring your husband with you. It is good for them to see you both as an united front, working together for the benefit of your child. (I hate to admit this, but sometimes a man is a little bit more intimidating as well).

4) Having a case worker through your local developmental disability organization at meetings is priceless. They know of a plethora of options and resources and will fight for what your needs child with you.

3) Provide refreshments for all!!!

2) Bring an 8 x 10 framed picture of your child and set it in front of you. This will help the committee see the child as  real person.

***1) Don't sign the IEP unless you are in total agreement with it. Know the special needs laws in your state.  If you are not happy with the recommendations, table the meeting and reconvene at another time. They cannot legally make changes to your child's services until new goals are put on paper. Advise them you are consulting with a special needs lawyer.

 

Remember, parents, the goal is to provide your child with all the proper supports in the least restrictive environment. Changes in the DSM-5 criteria are going to bring additional challenges for more high-functioning children. Time to find those boxing gloves...DSM-5 will likely have a radical impact on autism diagnosis and qualification for school and mental health services.

 

You are your child's best advocate, and if you are new to this autism journey, you are about to get a crash course on advocacy, persistence, stamina and communication! If you were timid before, it's time to come out of your cocoon!  As a parent of a special child you have two choices: 1) to be intimidated and accept the decisions made by others for your child or 2) to do your research and stand up for what you want. You already made a difference by showing up to the meeting...now come out of your corner and FIGHT NICELY.  Your child may never be able to thank you with words...but you'll know. Oh, yes, you'll know.

 

Maybe You Always Recognize The Blessings...